Yesterday was water truck day! I have so much to tell you guys. So many feelings... too many feelings actually.
My first thought arriving in Cite Soleil was "Wow, these people are really thirsty." Children everywhere. Some with clothes, some not. Some with noticeable Kwashiorkor, but all smiling. I found myself getting caught up in the moment of filling buckets and carrying buckets, I didn't notice I was hyperventilating... I decided I needed to step away; took two steps then Sue yelled "We need more help!" So I jumped back in. Filling buckets, moving buckets, putting buckets on people’s head. (my fish tank filling experience was really helpful) Nonstop, I didn't have time to freak out, and when I was, I had no choice but to ignore it.
One thing that affected me greatly today was when I was placing the buckets on their heads, I would spill some and it would run all down my clothes. As I looked around, hardly any of the other team members and people had wet clothes like I did. It was almost embarrassing how obvious it was that I was spilling this precious water that they need to survive. I was very concerned with the image I was portraying to these people, I'm helping, but I'm spilling their water all over myself.
When I was so engulfed in the heat of the moment, a sweet girl pulled me to the side, (I was expecting her to lead me to a bucket she wanted me to carry) but rather than that, she asked me my name. In that instant it was as if nothing else mattered other than talking to this sweet child named Bianca. Another time a child climbed up me, I patted him for a second then said "no no" prying him off, he snuck the quickest kiss on my cheek! I laughed and sat this happy little child down who was squirming with joy, as was I.
"The Lord's hand was breaking my heart." I was feeling such defeat. When we got back to the guest house, I spoke to one of my team members named, Marlo. She really helped me as I was struggling with thoughts of "Am I strong enough for this? Will I get stronger? Is this something I could do again?" I'm very thankful for her talking me through the events of the day and her experiences with water truck day. She gave me a new wave of hope and perseverance to continue to carry on.
I love my life, my family, my country, and my opportunity to help others. My word of the day today was "Thirsty" Our thirst for water, their thirst for water, and everyone's thirst for God's grace and love. I am feeling a thirst to keep going, keep helping, keep giving, keep sharing; and I pray that my thirst for those things to never be quenched.