Day 2: Drawing Strength

Today was our first day out in the field. I don’t think any of us had any preconceived ideas of what the day would hold. Some are new to this, and some are veterans. We went to Carrfour, the Haitian museum (or MuPaNah), and an orphanage. It is amazing how walking into each of these places you’re thinking, “Ok, I know what I need to do and what we’re here for”. Then the reality sinks in through your eyes and into your heart. Being the hands and feet of Jesus isn’t difficult. The heart that they carry though, the hurt it see’s, the pain, the struggle, and still the need for great love: that’s where the true burden lies. There was one woman today, in the last room, who was older, had black spots all over her arms and legs, and tears were streaming down her deformed face. She was beautiful and she was struggling. She spoke softly and though we couldn’t understand her words, we understood what they meant: “I’m dying and I want to go.” That packs a punch right to the feels. I didn’t want to cry in front of any of them, not because of pride, but because I wanted them to be encouraged and strengthened by our visit. Once I got out of that room, I struggled to hold the tears in. Tonight they will come down like the huge drops of rain we just enjoyed. What a gift to be stretched by our Potter. Some of the pieces hurt while they’re being put into place. I look forward to the end result, a work God will continue in me for the rest of my life. Through the rest of this week, I’m sure many more tears will come. All I can think about is Jesus. He had people constantly following Him who were suffering physically, and this Guy could see into the hurt of their hearts. How did He not just cry all the time? Well, I think I’ve figured it out: He drew strength from His Father. And He did cry. A couple times that we know of. Jesus saw through their suffering and through their pain to what their end result was going to be. He didn’t rush through it. Jesus knew exactly what they needed: His life. Wow. And doesn’t He call us to do the same, only emotionally and spiritually? Oh and I should add that He was God and He healed them of their illness (in fact bruised and beaten for it). We can’t forget that He tells us that His disciples will do even greater miracles that He did. Say what?! So hope is never lost. God’s will WILL be done. And His love never fails. We ended our day on a glorious note: we went to an orphanage where the kids were so happy to see us (and the chalk we brought). They would hold your hand, draw with you, or play tic-tac-toe. One even loved the red hair, with a red headband. They freely gave what they had: affection. That’s the lesson of the day for me. 

Tiffany

Day 1: We made it!

After an early morning rise, and a long day traveling through the Minneapolis and Atlanta airports, we finally arrived at our home for the next week...Haiti!

Although we have had numerous team meetings, socials, phone calls, texts, and emails, you really don't get to know your team until you begin your adventure at the airport. I can sense feelings excitement, anxiety, confidence, and a general sense of not really knowing what God has in store for you! However, this team is a special one, and I can't wait to watch them learn, grow, and create a story that will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Personally, I can't believe how excited I was to be back at the Healing Haiti guest house. This house has always been a foundation amidst the chaos of Haiti. A place where vulnerabilities are exposed, emotions are raw, and families and friendships are forged together. I will always remember my first mission trip to Haiti and being welcomed by a quote from Alyn Shannon, co-founder of Healing Haiti. It read "What is God trying to teach you?" Please pray that our team will open our hearts to to all the lessons we are about to learn.

Wayne

Day Seven, Who am I

Haiti has changed me- everything about Haiti changed everything about me. I'm thankful for every heart wrenching moment in this amazing place. I wasn't sure who I was before Haiti, and I'm not quite sure who I am after, but Haiti has pushed me closer to finding out.

I'm thankful for the people, the atmosphere, the landscape, the sights and sounds, but most of all I'm thankful for my team. God placed every single person here in a special intricate web of relationships. Not one of us could have made it through this week without the help of our other team members. We all brought something to the table, and there's a reason we were all here together. I could have never dreamed of a better team to carry out this week's tasks. I consider them all my brothers and sisters. After everything my team and I went through together, I love every one of them for their perseverance; strength, and most of all encouragement for one another. Haiti may have broken my heart, but my team carried me through the pieces.

Thank you

Love
Honnah

Perspective from a 3-time Haiti volunteer

After 4 months of taking an upper level Global Aid and Humanitatrian class during my sophomore year of college, my professor and 22 classmates nearly convinced me that missions trips cause more harm than good. I was told that missions trips and non profit organizations are meaningless, a tease, and utterly unhelpful. After growing up in the Church and continuously hearing about how we Christians must take time out of our busy lives and go into the world on missions, I felt as if I had been figuratively slapped in the face by my class and their misconceptions.

As I return to Haiti for my 3rd summer in a row, I can say with full confidence that I disagree. As my team of 17 rode the bumpy ride up the hill heading to Grace Village, my heart started to race -- not of nervousness, but of pure excitement. It had been a year since my last goodbye with all the precious faces. The large gate opened and there Grace Village was, appearing colorful, lively, and extremely welcoming -- as it always has. The kids were waiting for us under the pavilion hiding from the sun (it had to be at least 100 degrees). They were all wearing their new, blue "Camp Catch It" shirts that we delivered the day before. We all walked toward the kids carrying buckets full of sport supplies in each hand. Eyes began to widen as the balls, parachutes, bubbles, tap shoes, chalk, and costumes drew closer. The members of our team that had been to Haiti before immediately searched and reunited with the kids who they had made previous connections with and all the first timers were drawn in forming instant relationships. 

We were given a tour of the orphanage, which encouraged one of our teammates, Scott, to stray away from the term "orphanage" and instead use the word "familyage". Healing Haiti strongly believes in family structure and the importance of a mother and a father figure in every child's life. Thus each dorm is given a "mommy" and a "pappi" for a feel for real life family living. Also we were shown where transitional kids (those that are older than 16 and supposed to move out of the orphanage) are being taught how to properly adapt and live on their own. Instead of sending out the transitional kids to fend for themselves outside of the orphanage, Healing Haiti understands the importance of giving the kids a proper education and multiple job opportunities. 

Continuing with the tour, meeting cooks, translators, mommies, pappies, and more staff, we were given a glimpse of how many job opportunities Grace Village is offering to the people of Haiti.

We spent the next few hours attempting to play our "planned" games of basketball, kickball, and baseball, but finally gave in and joined in on the kid's favorite game: soccer. All of us who had been to Haiti before couldn't believe our eyes as we watched these kids play with such a difference in behavior in comparison to the prior years. The kids were respectful, joyful, hard players, compassionate towards everyone, and deep lovers and followers of Jesus. Each year I am shocked more and more by the transformation of these kids because of the staff here at Grace Village and the Healing Haiti workers and volunteers. These kids are educated, lively, and very hard workers. They are going to make incredible contributing members to the Haitian society one day. And going to bed tonight, I can't help but dread yet another goodbye with these very kids tomorrow morning.

To be clear, let me state once again: not all organizations and missions work accomplish the good they intend. However, Healing Haiti is providing jobs for and training the Haitian people, building "familyages", churches, and bakeries, educating youth, bringing water to villages that have absolute no access, making visits to homes and orphanages that need light and love, and most importantly: spreading the one, true Gospel and the love of God that is intended for every single one of us -- no matter where we're from. 

-Natalie

P.S. Hi foe and mom :)

Day Six, Heartbreak in Haiti

There seems to be a reoccurring theme laying on my heart this week spent in Haiti; heartbreak. I wake up each morning thinking "No more heartbreak today! Today is going to be a happy day!" I feel as if I am being forced to alter my idea of what happiness is. Each day that starts with this "hopefulness" of being happy, my heart gets torn in two. But why?

With that being said, my team and I had a wonderful day at the beach today. It was much needed. Observing God's giant creation, the clouds, the ocean, the mountains, all of it was so Bel. Yet, my heart was breaking; for a much different reason this time. I was observing such beauty, feeling such joy, and who could I share it with? Of course my teammates were observing the same beauty, and in a sense I was sharing the experience with them. But where was the one I love when I was gazing deep into the ocean? Where was my dad when I sipped out of a fresh coconut? Where was my mom when the sand was burning my feet yet the breeze from the mountains cooled my face? This was a beautiful, happy, and yet difficult day. I love my family more than anything on the earth, and I am beyond thankful for their support, I only wish I could physically share these beautiful moments with them.

Heartbreak comes in many forms, Iv'e felt every single one this week. Saying goodbye to a dear friend, witnessing real hunger and thirst, feelings of regret, time fleeting, my inability to share a beautiful moment with the ones I love, and over all, Haiti. Haiti breaks my heart. Pastor Sue once told me, "I need to be here because this is where God is." I understood the depth of this today more than ever. God is all over this place. He's in the face of every child. He's in the dark and dirty, He's in the bright and crisp. He's everywhere, and He's breaking my heart. God will continue to allow Haiti to break my heart for the rest of my life. Because I know that as soon as I step foot in the States, my heart is going to break even more for Haiti. My heart will break for my absence from Haiti, and it will break during my presents in Haiti. Because this is where God is.

I am beginning to believe that I should be thankful for this heartbreak, and therefore happy that my heart is getting broken. Although I never want my heart to scar over, become tough, and no longer be able to become broken. I'm learning the importance of heartbreak; especially since my heart has never been broken like Haiti breaks it.

"God is breaking my heart for what breaks His." (Katie/Marlo)

Love
Honnah

Day four

Today was like a rose. Beautiful and bright, yet thorny and dark as the sweet smelling moments blew away like pedals in the wind.

The ride through town this morning I was feeling more hope and happiness for Haiti than sorrow. I'm beginning to observe more beauty in this country than I had the previous days, which I am thankful for since these new feelings are unexpected, but much appreciated. I felt a surge of energy arriving at Grace Village today, seeing all the children, hearing their shouts of excitement, and watching them burst with joy as we piled out of the tap tap. The energy that they give is enough to power the planet; and I feel as if they will, these are the kids that are going to change Haiti and the world as we know it for good. Singing, dancing, acting, and all while praising God; these kids are truly amazing in their worship.

After we packed up, I was feeling a bit "hangry" which is a real feeling that I informed Steve of today. Once we left Grace Village, we went straight to a local orphanage. This is a place that I will never forget. "For I may have many things stolen from me, but memories can never be taken from me." I walked in and could feel the love and appreciation for our presents.. ours. We're nothing special, actually we're a bunch of strangers walking into their home, but they couldn't be more loving towards us and thankful for our visit. The children were extremely well-behaved and generous; I assume because they have a lovely man as their pastor. Here was this sweet man with a permanent smile fixtured upon his face, caring for seventeen children with very limited staff, and yet he couldn't be happier.

After a few skits and songs performed by us for the kids, we had snacks then played together. And boy did we play. As I was walking, a teenage girl came up to me and we both laughed as we exchanged high-fives. A few minutes later I was sitting on a little wooden bench watching them run and giggle, when  the same sweet girl whom will now and always hold a dear place in my heart, came up to me and pulled me to her friends. We laughed hysterically as they taught me a four person hand shake. This girl and I played a few more hand-slapping games until my hands were red! (She was much better at these games than I was.) After that we played tic tac toe until it was time to go. Right as everyone was gathering to the tap tap, I realized I never asked for her name. She told me Rosemarthe, when I told her my name, she said it as if we'd been friends forever. I snapped a quick picture with Rosemarthe, and her beautiful friend, Sheila. Then I realized I'd left them. What had I said? What had I done? Did they enjoy my company like I theirs? Was my "God bless you" a sufficient goodbye for these so lovely girls? Part of me feels such selfishness as I want them to think of me often like I know I will them. But does it matter? Who am I to wish such feelings into their hearts? I even caught myself thinking "If only I had a gift for these girls, if only I had a tangible physical object to give them in order for them to remember me." Things can't leave an impact, only we can. Objects fade, love only grows. I will always remember my time spent with Rosemarthe, and Sheila, and I am thankful for their impact on my heart.

Once on the tap tap and once the thoughts of selfishness seemed to fade, I gazed out and seen a man riding on the top of a truck. I was tired and upset, so I was leaning my head on my hands as a rested there in a sort of a pout. This man started mocking my posture, smiled and waited for me to wave. I returned the smile and waved at him and all his friends riding with him. How could some strange man riding on top of a truck give me such relief? I thought back to my feelings this morning, remembering how beautiful this place is, as well as it's people.

 "Haiti is like sugarcane; it's hard, dark, and dusty on the outside, but once you chew on it for a bit you reach the sweetness of its center. The more you chew on Haiti, the more sweetness you get out of it." (Katie)

Love
Honnah

More Cite Soleil reflections from another team member

Yesterday was water truck day! I have so much to tell you guys. So many feelings... too many feelings actually.

My first thought arriving in Cite Soleil was "Wow, these people are really thirsty." Children everywhere. Some with clothes, some not. Some with noticeable Kwashiorkor, but all smiling. I found myself getting caught up in the moment of filling buckets and carrying buckets, I didn't notice I was hyperventilating... I decided I needed to step away; took two steps then Sue yelled "We need more help!" So I jumped back in. Filling buckets, moving buckets, putting buckets on people’s head. (my fish tank filling experience was really helpful) Nonstop, I didn't have time to freak out, and when I was, I had no choice but to ignore it.

One thing that affected me greatly today was when I was placing the buckets on their heads, I would spill some and it would run all down my clothes. As I looked around, hardly any of the other team members and people had wet clothes like I did. It was almost embarrassing how obvious it was that I was spilling this precious water that they need to survive. I was very concerned with the image I was portraying to these people, I'm helping, but I'm spilling their water all over myself.

When I was so engulfed in the heat of the moment, a sweet girl pulled me to the side, (I was expecting her to lead me to a bucket she wanted me to carry) but rather than that, she asked me my name. In that instant it was as if nothing else mattered other than talking to this sweet child named Bianca. Another time a child climbed up me, I patted him for a second then said "no no" prying him off, he snuck the quickest kiss on my cheek! I laughed and sat this happy little child down who was squirming with joy, as was I.

"The Lord's hand was breaking my heart." I was feeling such defeat. When we got back to the guest house, I spoke to one of my team members named, Marlo. She really helped me as I was struggling with thoughts of "Am I strong enough for this? Will I get stronger? Is this something I could do again?" I'm very thankful for her talking me through the events of the day and her experiences with water truck day. She gave me a new wave of hope and perseverance to continue to carry on.

I love my life, my family, my country, and my opportunity to help others. My word of the day today was "Thirsty" Our thirst for water, their thirst for water, and everyone's thirst for God's grace and love. I am feeling a thirst to keep going, keep helping, keep giving, keep sharing; and I pray that my thirst for those things to never be quenched.

Love

Honnah